It finally happened.
I knew eventually the day would come. It happens to all of us moms at some point... The dreaded inconsolable breakdown at Target, complete with judgemental stares from people who have forgotten what it’s like to have a baby. All we needed was new sheets for the bed. Pop in, pop out — that was the goal. I knew the poor girl was exhausted. We’d had a long day of errands already, and she was sick of laying in her car seat. In an attempt to save myself from a scream-filled ride home, I even sat in the parking lot and fed her before going in. She fell asleep on my chest, but I knew we’d be quick. We went for it. We rounded the corner to the home decor section, and her baby blues popped open. They locked onto mine, and then the sweetest little lip quiver began upon the realization she was no longer in my arms. I smiled at her and shushed and held her hand, but it was too late. She wailed. And I mean WAILED. And I couldn’t get her to stop. It didn’t take long to notice the glances around me. Unfortunately, there were no comforting, “I understand mama” nods coming my way. Maybe next time I’ll get lucky. But all we needed was sheets, so I pressed on, shushing and rocking and cooing at my baby while she ugly cried allllll the way to the front of the store, through the checkout experience, into the car, and out of the parking lot where she conveniently stopped & fell asleep thanks to the motion of the car. LOL. And you know what I thought to myself? “That wasn’t so bad.” For some reason, I was always anxious for this moment as a parent. Maybe it has to do with my struggle over perfectionism, or because I constantly battle people-pleasing. Maybe it’s the pride — that first time in public when I can’t hide behind the image of being a mom that has it all together. But the reality is that none of us are truly that mom. We can’t control our kids. We don’t have it together all of the time. And that’s okay. Just let it go mama. Remember this: your babies’ actions are not a reflection of your worth. You are loved by your Creator whether or not your kids behave in a store. You are noticed even if you can’t put the “honor roll parent” sticker on the back of your minivan. You’re valuable whether or not your teenager makes the team. All we can do is give our best to our families for the glory of God, and we trust Jesus to fill in our gaps. Release your grip on control & the perfect image, and be encouraged by this truth today -- “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” -Romans 5:8 While we were still sinners, y’all. Not once we had it all figured out. There is grace for us in the middle of the linens aisle while we console our screaming children. Because of that, it’s really not too bad. Target on, mama. Cheers!
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So, I “got my body back.” Six months postpartum, and I’m officially wearing my pre-pregnancy size and down to my pre-baby weight. Somehow, my body still looks and feels way different and all the things are shifted around, but those facts remain. I debated sharing this, but I realized that it IS something worth celebrating. It means that I’ve lost 35lbs {yes, I gained that much weight & our baby was barely 6 lbs — proof that every woman and baby are so different & everyone just needs to chill the heck out and stop making comments about pregnant women’s weight 👏🏻}. But more than that, it means that for the FIRST time in my life, I’ve lost weight without purposefully starving myself. I’ve continued to fuel my body {okay, sometimes with too much Chick-fil-A but c’mon} & nurse my baby, and that’s a personal victory for me.
I’ve learned recently that you can’t win with social media. Some people will say I shouldn’t share a post like this because it will fuel the fire of comparison that so many of us struggle with, making it sound like I think I’m somehow superior because I’m back to my pre-baby size. Other people will say that if I didn’t share it, I’d be joining the growing crowd of skinny-shamers {which is just as bad, by the way}. You really can’t win when it comes to the fitness posts, but I’m just trying to be honest about my journey as a new mom, as I always have. This is my reality, and it’s totally okay if it’s not the same as anyone else’s experience. Here’s the truth that we need to lean in to today, mama friend: + Your body carried, nourished, and brought a new life into the world with a soul that matters for eternity, and THAT IS WORTH CELEBRATING. + If you’ve lost the baby weight, you’re worthy of love. + If you haven’t lost the baby weight yet, you’re worthy of love. + If you never lose the baby weight, you’re worthy of love. + You’re worthy of love because you’re here. You’re alive. You’ve been created by the God who sacrificed HIS child’s life for yours, and you have a unique purpose. + No matter what your body looks like, your baby needs you to show up & love them like ONLY YOU can. + And ultimately, your body is temporary. It will not last. Physical fitness is of some value, but not at the expense of your relationship with Christ. Invest your best into soul training, and know that true, lasting beauty is what’s in your spirit. + Vanity is shallow and unfulfilling. Trust me, I’ve lived in that space. It does not satisfy. Roots of self-worth don’t grow from numbers on a scale or inches on a tape measure. They grow from an assurance that you are recklessly loved by the God who made your form & called it GOOD. Wherever your body is at, own it, beautiful! I’m right here with ya. XOX. “...train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance.” -1 Timothy 4:7-9 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” -Proverbs 31:30 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” -Jeremiah 31:3 |
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Ashley Setterlind: Jesus lover, wife, new mama to a baby girl. Archives
October 2018
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